Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
