i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
