if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
