I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
