I feel like I'm in dance class right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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