i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
