Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
