I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
