did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
