i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
