I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
