I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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