did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
