do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just google imaged poop.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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