we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize