Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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