The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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