My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
