You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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