Non-Jews are for practice
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize