Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
