i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
