last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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