were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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