He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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