I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
