i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize