I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
