Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
