If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
