If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
