Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
