My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
