why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
