she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
