when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
