After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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