I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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