My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize