I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
