Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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