You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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