Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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