I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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