she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I want is dick and wine.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
