Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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