He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
