I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
