AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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