Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
