MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
