I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
