Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
