I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
