so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
