I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
