yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
