I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
