So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
