Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
